Talking to my sister about her upcoming due date:
Jumbled and random thoughts of our trip - [Omay, since you're treating I'm going to offer all of Shanghai xiao long bao's.] [Kin, there comes a time when you have to man up...so let's get our nails done.] [Guys, there's a huge ferret over there! - Uhm...Kin, that's a cat.] [Junko hitting her head on the glass door - I was looking for a bathroom for Mikey!] [Yo, our apartment is guarded by the Special Forces.] [You know when you run that much you have to put Vaseline everywhere - Did you hear that Omay? She said, everywhere. - No Kinsen...I'm not falling for that trick again.] [If you guys wake me up at 9:30am one more time, someone's gonna die.] [Calling Wong Fu while he was next to us.] [Its so cold I was going to open the fridge to warm the apt.] [You know what you get when you add an L to All Nippon Airlines?] [What's chajemoto?] [Mikey, there's an apple theme to all of this.] [Mikkel can drink a lot but I hear Manchin can drink even more.] [Omay throwing up.] [We're on a mission to get towels. Junko, you get this small one.] [Bai Fan!!] [Crazy japanese/chinese girl, Keiko. Penn State boys Eric and Evan.] [Bonnie said she will pee in your bed and I believe her.] [I have to warn you, my room smells a little funny - Funny? It smells like someone died in there.] [That was sushi?] [Scary female chinese drivers.] [Massages in the bathroom.] [Omay's got the phone, Mikey has the keys, and only my directions can get you home. - Checks and balances.] [Let's call Kathy so she can order for us.] [I'm blaming the ferret - Yea? I'll show you a furry rodent.] [Can I smell the sheets?] [If I buy it at that price, I'll have to eat fried rice for a week!] [Guys, you want to know what time it is??]
After party eats with Bonnie and Manchin.
So tired from waking up early.
Our lovely friend Junko from Japan, kept us out of trouble.
Omay need to close his eyes completely for this pic.
Mikey doing his patented, fall asleep while reading something. That's right... he's sleeping but still holding up the newspaper. Skills!
So Mikey and I get to Shanghai early and decide to make a sign for the dude who's picking up Omay. We took some time to make sure he knew it was us... but the guy forgot it in the apt. After he picked up Omay, he's like... "Your friends have a really important message for you but I left it in the apt. They spent a lot of time writing it out." Meanwhile, Omay's like... no problem. Gets home and sees this:
Omay: I really hate those guys.......
Man... I keep waking up around 6am. And can't seem to fall back asleep.
Funny story from scaredy cat
Her minority coworker tells their minority boss that he's overworked. So her boss goes, ok... come in and tell me what you do that's got you so busy.
Coworker walks in and hands the boss a piece of paper.
I'm heading off to Shanghai!! Whooohoooo!!
Here are some random Chuck Norris facts...hahahhahahahahahh Tell me your favorite one!
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity- twice.
Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.
Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the crap out of little kids.
Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.
Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesnt see dead people. He makes people dead.
When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."
Chuck Norris doesn't eat. Rather he kicks ass until he's full.
Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once threatened to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what "his way" detailed, he replied: "with barbed wire and nails, of course". He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking.
Chuck Norris never "gets laid", rather: "laid gets Chuck".
Playgirl magazine once asked Chuck Norris to appear naked in an issue, Chuck laughed at the opportunity saying "there isn't enough paper in the world to contain my bearded member". He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants.
Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris
In the back of The Guinness Book of World Records it states "All records are currently held by Chuck Norris, and the records listed in this book are only the records of those people who have come closest to Chuck Norris' records"
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.
When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.
God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.
When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.
Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.
Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
Went to check this out last night. Wow.... pretty awesome. The violinist was especially impressive. Lately, I've been trying to learn how to play the guitar and even tho the violin is different I could see the enourmous amount of dexterity and skill displayed when she was performing. Incredible.
Then after experiencing the heights of classical music....I went to Bobs. Hahhahahahahahhahhahahah. To da windoowwwwww....to da waaallll!!!
Convo with sister:
Car got broken into. More annoyed than mad.... but fortunately I'll get the car back in time for my retreat this weekend. There wasn't even anything in the car to steal really... just a bunch of board games. They took Connect Four and Battleship....but left the Sex in the City game that Christina gave me to give to Jnet like six months ago. What kind of freaks break into a car, take Connect Four but leave Sex in the City?? hahahhahaha.... bastids.
Random conversations
It appears as though I've been hacked.... I don't think i'm the only one. Stay away from my page until xanga figures this all out.
Found from someone else's xanga page...
ok got this virus thingy too... so decided to post the method of removing it here....
In order to remove that "exodus ownes you xanga virus"
1. go to the following link http://dash.xanga.com
2. sign in
3. on the left where the dash session is, u will c a lot of entries wid tat "exodus ownes you" thing
4. click edit entry for those "exodus ownes you" onez and simply delete tat post
5. delete all the "exodus ownes you" post
6. sign out after u've finished
7. my advise not to click into anyone's xanga wid "exodus ownes you" virus or else u would hv to do 1-6 all over again
8. close tat internet explorer after u've finished n wait for 5 mins until u open ur own xanga again
Back from China for about a week now. And then I just booked another trip today (to Shanghai in January). Now the first trip was to a place called Shantou where I did some work and then attended my cousin's wedding. Shantou is a port city near HK. If you start in HK and then head northeast along the coast, Shantou is the first city you'll see. I say all this because people either think I went to Shanghai already or they ask me (many, many times) where the heck Shantou is. Now you know. 
So the wedding was fun. I think my cousin was super stressed (made doubly complicated since he doesn't speak the local dialect very well)...my sister reported having the following conversation with him as he was running around doing things and having his fiance help.
You know one of the things I noticed in China. The traffic there is unbelievable. You've got a huge hodge podge of pedestrians, bikes, mopeds, cars and trucks...but no one really honks their horn. And people are cutting people off so much...that there isn't that much road rage. Interesting.
Receptions in China apparently have karaoke as part of the festivities. Yea....
Since the real estate is kind of cheap there and my cousin's earning an US salary...he's able to afford a really nice apt. in China. Except its a seven story walkup. The first night, my roommate, sister and I decided to just get up it as fast as we could. And after he opened the door we went thru it and collapsed on his couch. When we teased my cousin about carrying his wife up the stairs after their wedding...he was like: Oh haaaiillll nooo! hahahhahahaha
I polished off five books during my trip.
It was 70 degrees there and people were like... its so cold. Are you ok? Meanwhile, I'm wearing t-shirts and thinking: This is great!!
On one leg of my trip I was stuck between two older chinese ladies. One of them who got caught trying to steal utensils, got caught and was forced to give them back. Which just taught the other one to put my tray over hers to hide her missing utensils. They also spoke in two volumes - Off...and LOUD. Luckily that part of the trip was only a couple of hours.
I know its cold in New York City. I know I had to come back to work the day after I landed. Yet....I missed it and I'm glad I'm back. 
The asian world is such a small one....that's why it doesn't pay to lie about stuff or in the case of this guy, about EVERYTHING. He talks a really good game but take nothing for granted and save yourself the trouble and don't give him the benefit of the doubt. Be on the lookout for this SHADY CHARACTER.
I'm in China for the week...here for work and my cousin's wedding on Saturday. This would be so much sweeter if there was actually some sort of night scene here. Will hopefully be in Shanghai in January.... wooot!
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