February 16, 2005
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Truth vs. Promise
I like to keep my promises. So I rarely make promises. After all, the less I commit to, the less inclined I'll be to break them.
I'm also a big fan of integrity. Honestly, its the easier policy to follow. I'm too lazy to keep track of a bunch of different things I've told other people. If its all the same, its plain and simple. In general, I think people more or less, have these values. So what happens when they come in conflict with each other? Let's say two equally close friends of yours. One friend makes you promise not to tell anyone at all before confiding in you. You make that promise. Then the second friend speaks to you, very upset, confronts you...and you can't avoid it. Either you lie in that friends face...or you break the promise you made to the other person.
What would you guys pick? Your promise over the truth? Or the truth over your promise?
Comments (24)
there are ways to be diplomatic about it. you like to ask these black and white questions but the world doesn't work that way. how about you just tell the second person that you are a man of your word, and surely they would appreciate that if they had been the one to confide in you.
huh? i dont get it. so... did the first friend tell you something about second friend? and the second friend is upset and confronts you about first friend?
that sounds like a lot of drama to me. i'd tell them that i'd like to keep out of it.
ah... gray areas... I would the type that would more likely to keep my promise, but if i was to be put in a situation which i have to divulge my promise; I'll state the truth to the point where i can still honor my promise... to be impartial and ask to be respected for my reason, considering the situation...
i don't get your hypothetical situation. did the first friend confide in you about the second friend and then the second friend confronted you about the first friend?
i guess it all depends on the specific situation. a promise is a promise but the truth is always the truth. its hard to avoid telling the truth to someone so close to you when you know they are hurting so deeply. i would go back to the person that i made the promise to, an tell them how much friend #2 is hurting. hopefully they will make my choice a bit easier. if not, its then that i have to choose.
so i cant answer your question.
and promise is a promise. never make them even with a .0000001% chance. i rarely make promises too.
in that particular case, i pick promise over truth because the promise was made before
you're hypothetical situation sucks! but either way, i would do the same as sylvia. that way, you'll keep your promise and being truthful.
id tell person B (truth) to go duke it out with person A (promise) and leave me the fuck out. then id grab a beer, sit back, and enjoy the show.
i never promise either. i rather keep them so i rather not make them in the first place. i think i prefer truth over promise. you can always break promises but never the truth...
you can keep your promise and not compromise the truth. truth in relevant doses? or just be upfront about your position in having made a promise but not wanting to cover anything up in trying not to break it. of course its trickier depending on the exact situation, if there is a direct conflict maybe its just better to extract yourself from involvement
that's an easy one - if u tell person B a lie, that's only ONE bad point against you but if you break the promise to person A, that's TWO bad points against you b/c not only was the promise broken but you lied about keeping a promise. Plus, a promise is stronger than truth - not only does it encompass the truth, but it's a vow/ oath to perform (held accountable for it) while the truth is simply a statement (which doesn't really give anyone the right to rely on it). Or you can always go w/ "I don't know what to say."
or have both ppl battle it out in a danceoff. that always works.
tell them to talk to each other =) and then u don't have to braek the promise, and u can still tell the truth
keep ur promise, don't say anything, but then direct the upset person to confront the person who confided in u and let them duke it out =P
so running the other way isnt an option huh?...i think i would speak to person A about confronting person B...but trust important to me as much it pains me to keep the secret from person B....i guess it is much easier to never make promises...this reminds of the Friends episode when joey knew about monica and chandler
a promise is a promise. you lose your integrity if you break it. however, if your keeping the promise compromises someone else's health or safety, then you probably either shouldn't have made it or need to break it.
honestly, in a case like that i dont think it's your fight. i agree with annie...u tell person B that if there are issues between person A and person B, they should go talk to person A...it's not really your fight and you're not really involved...you were just being a friend and an ear for person A. can they really fault you for that? it's not like u really did anything... *shrug*
i would tell B that A said that B should go eat a taco, and A hopes that B chokes on the shell.
heyyyy loveee, thanks for the prop.
errr tannin during feb isn't so bad ehheeh. <33
i hope yuo had a good valentine!
no, i called the dude to cancel. never met the sketchy dude.
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) so just subscribing to it so dont think im a crazy stalker! eprops~
1) tell the truth that u made a promise and that u will keep it, afterall the second person should understand and respect u more for being that way.
2) don't say anything and just listen to the second person and address her issues without compromising ur promise.
3) go find an island where no one can find u and live happily ever after...hehe
in this case, promise over truth - and u can make up for ur failure to fulfill the truth but lending a good ear.
sounds like drama
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